March 2011
127 posts
4 tags
In a matter of hours
I may be standing in the same building, breathing the same air, as Mr. Spike Lee. I’m pee-my-pants excited right now. I really hope I can get in. I also hope that he does a signing after his talk because I want to get a DVD singed. I’m also wanting to slip him a letter asking to be taken under his wing, so I need to get close enough to him to do that. I already have my pitch prepared....
February 2011
51 posts
4 tags
anybodylikeyou:
Chris Brown f/ Busta Rhymes and...
3 tags
2 tags
My creative writing Tumblr →
If you have time or any interest, feel free to check out my creative writing Tumblr account.
4 tags
Richard Cory
by Edwin Arlington Robinson (1869)
Whenever Richard Cory wend down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed, And he was always human when he talked; But still he fluttered pulses when he said, “Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich—yes,...
4 tags
Yesterday, Last night, This morning
Yesterday, I walked down the street and guys wanted me. It felt good. I felt confident. It felt like a fluke, though. That type of shit doesn’t happen to me. Or maybe it always has and I’ve just been blind.
Yesterday, I hung out with coworkers. I felt incredibly out of place. It was such a change from the feeling of confidence earlier in the day. I had to take an anxiety pill.
Last...
ofcourseyoucanrepeatthepast asked: So, um... I sent you a message a little while ago... and my computer freaked out so you might not have gotten it... but either way, I just wanted to say, I have been thinking about you. And sending good vibes your way... I miss your wonderful self. And I really hope you are feeling better or are starting to feel better. You are a pretty awesome person... just saying. And we need to hang out...
3 tags
sidanarchion asked: Miss you lady. My life is sometimes dull and far too PG without you. If I were to visit Seattle soonish for whatever would you be available to be bothered? Perhaps I can wrangle something with Bree?
Be well, dearest. We all care deeply about you.
Be well, dearest. We all care deeply about you.
negativityrulesmymind asked: That seems like a good idea, but I don't know. Is there any way your counselor can tell him what exactly he's done to you? Because he should really know. He can't not remember. I know the effects of alcohol and they ain't strong enough to erase something like that completely. Especially not if he was still sober enough to threaten you.
3 tags
3 tags
4 tags
3 tags
At a local convenience store
Scene: I've just walked out the store. Two young men are standing off to the side of the store.
Guy 1: Do you have 75 cents?
Me: Nope, sorry. I don't have any cash.
[I keep walking]
Guy 2: [says something]
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Guy 2: Let me get your number.
Me: [having heard him this time] What?
Guy 2: Let me get your number.
Me: How old are you.
[He takes a pause that says he's about to lie to me]
Guy 2: Oh, I'm 22.
[I shook my head and smiled, I might have laughed a bit as well, then I turned and kept walking while they said some more stuff that I couldn't hear]
I mean, really, you and you're friend are standing at a corner store asking for (most likely) bus money and you think I'm just going to hand over my phone number? You didn't even ask me for my name or tell me yours. Yeah, real catch.
2 tags
“I’ll see you after your next stay in the hospital.”
– My doctor (so inappropriately hilarious)
4 tags
2 tags
scribblesbyz asked: I'm glad you're feeling better my friend. :) Although I'm sad to hear you had another stint in a hospital. Was it for long, or a short one? I hope you can hold onto this good feeling this time! Did you get yourself a copy of The Secret?? :P I'm gonna reread it this weekend myself, hehe.
Sending you positive energy and love. Stay strong. :)
Sending you positive energy and love. Stay strong. :)
2 tags
3 tags
Whoops
4 tags
3 tags
“If I get it all out on paper it’s no longer inside of me, threatening the...”
– Anna Nalick - Breathe (2AM)
5 tags
Hopefully it'll last
So, here I am. Home from yet another stay in the hospital. I’m relatively happy and I’m so hoping that it’ll stick around this time. My head is the clearest it has been in a very long time. I feel like I can handle some business. Not all of my business, though. All of my financial business is still too much to handle at this point. And I’m still not quite sure to do about...
negativityrulesmymind asked: HI, I'm so sorry I haven't been around, things have been a little insane, but that's no excuse. Does that guy seriously not remember? Why don't you talk to him more about it?
scribblesbyz asked: God, I wish I fucking knew who this douche of a bastard is! I can't believe this asshole said that?! I would go ape shit. Fucking A. I can't believe I went to the same school as some scumbag like this.
I'm sorry man. But please don't go off the deep end. I can imagine how hard things are for you now. But in all seriousness, you can't let yourself give in to...
I'm sorry man. But please don't go off the deep end. I can imagine how hard things are for you now. But in all seriousness, you can't let yourself give in to...
4 tags
Baby, I got a plan:
Runaway as fast as you can.
3 tags
Message
I guess I should get this down before my memory is gone.
I sent my rapist a message on Facebook.I won’t go into details, but I basically told him he hurt me with what he did. And get this: He says he doesn’t remember it. That he was extremely drunk. But he apologizes as well, because he cannot believe he would do something like that. He said he hopes it doesn’t ruin my life.
I...
2 tags
“I somehow see what’s beautiful in things that are ephemeral.”
– I Thought I Saw Your Face Today - She & Him
scribblesbyz replied to your post: I think I’ve lost it
Por que?
I’ll explain later.
1 tag
I think I've lost it
I sent him an email last night. WTF?
1 tag
It's like there was someone else inside of me
Doing all of the things I wished I could do.
I floated along and watched myself.
5 tags
Well, whatever
I’m trying to figure it all out. Well, maybe not all of it, but at least crack it part of the way open. I just don’t know. I’m in this perpetual state of confusion. I’m so distant from my emotions. I don’t ever seem to know what I’m feeling. I’m so frustrated. I’m doing the things people tell me will help make me better. But I don’t feel any...
3 tags
I don't know
I don’t ever know.
3 tags
hollywhirled asked: I haven't read all your posts, but enough to know that if I didn't have my child to give me a REASON to keep it together...I would've been in the next room on the same floor sans shoe laces. The way you describe how you feel when you drink, I understand completely. Gin & tonic right now for me. I feel nearly normal when I get sloshed, but then the feelings come up when...
2 tags
Okay, so what.
There’s a slight chance that I have a few problems. I’m aware of that. I acknowledge it. As of now, everyone can chill out. It’s not that bad. Yes, I’ve been doing some self-medicating. I don’t need an intervention just yet.
3 tags
3 tags
Teeter-Totter
Straddling the center. Walking a fine line. It frustrates me how unsteady I still feel; How easy it is to teeter to the east, But yet so hard to totter to the west. How is it that I feel better, but worse? I still feel like something is missing. Like there’s an empty and bottomless well inside my chest.
I don’t even know what I’m saying right now.
1 tag
6 tags
Inspired By True Events: That Is My Spirit →
thesavvyscribe:
Wounded and curled into a ball, that is my spirit. What it once was, it no longer is.
I can see it when I close my eyes. It’s gathering dust in a corner of that dreadful room—the occupant of which has since moved out. And moved on, no doubt. He took everything from that night: The computer that belted terrible music, the tacky AC/DC poster, the comforter I used to wipe semen...
3 tags
1 tag
“Welcome! Walk-ins excepted.”
– The sign in a local barbershop window.
5 tags
Are you still sick?
I work with kids and I live really close to my job, so I’m always running into the children involved in the programs I run. When I got home on Friday, a couple of kids who live across the street from me were playing outside. They spotted me.
The little girl said, “Hi, Miss Jamika!” I waved to her. She walked to the edge of the grass and talked to me from across the street....
3 tags
3 tags
2 tags
lovelyladyplant-deactivated2011 asked: I'm glad you're back and starting to feel a little better. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
2 tags
I'm back (again)
Well, I got back on Friday, but I’m just getting to a computer.
I have over 50 unread emails in my inbox, a terribly messy room, some bills to pay and a few big decisions to make and I’m not looking forward to taking care of any of it.
However, the difference between then and now is that, even though I’m not looking forward to it, I have to energy and motivation to do it all.
...
sidanarchion asked: Was that poem from the Sir Walter Raleigh? like the Virgina founding, Queen Elizabeth dating one? Because that would be really interesting if it was. I like the poem too...
Anonymous asked: I just wanted to say that I think you are a really strong and brave person. I think to blog about your feelings and the things that have happened to you are so brave. I admire you greatly.
I understand, to some extent (having been sexually violated at a young age), the anxiety and paranoia you feel. I wish you all the best in your recovery. And I hope that one day you will feel...
I understand, to some extent (having been sexually violated at a young age), the anxiety and paranoia you feel. I wish you all the best in your recovery. And I hope that one day you will feel...
