I’ve been avoiding going back to making my blog a mostly original post blog, from a blog with a ton of reblogs. For months I have been seeing, yet again, those symptoms that show up when I silence myself. Anxiety, nightmares, flashback, dissociation, depression, crying, mood swings. You know the drill. 

I love seeing what’s on my dash and reblogging, but I need to balance things out a bit more like I did in the past. Going back to the roots of this blog, I guess. This blog was about connecting with others and healing through thoughts, writings and communication with people. 

Communication is such a huge part of my happiness, I’ve learned (and am still learning) and I need to give it the respect and care it needs. Nothing gets better when you hold it in… at least I don’t think I’ve experienced a positive effect from it. 

When I feel as though words are trapped in my throat, I need to write. Sometimes it literally hurts to talk, but I have to remember not to just shut down—there are so many other ways to express the layered emotions. I used to write, make collages, finger paint, color, doodle, Tumbl, and all that other fun stuff.

I just have to remember to get out the negative to make room for all of the positive.

nevver:

“I love to write and I assure you I write regularly … But I write for myself, for my own pleasure. And I want to be left alone to do it.” — from the desk of J.D. Salinger

(via thatmanistightatdancing-deactiv)

I have been trying to get myself back in the habit of writing. The past few years have been tough and my writing has suffered significantly. I’ve stopped writing stories, scripts, journal entries and blog posts. The only writing I’ve been able to get done is some new jokes here and there. 

When I’m feeling creatively tapped out my outlook on life begins to waver, making my surroundings a bit less pronounced and causing a brain jam (similar to a paper jam). 

My well of inspiration seems to be back in some kind of working order, but there is still something stopping the transfer from the mind to the page. I even feel out of step as I write this.

I’m tired of all of that, though. I have thousands of words inside of me that are looking for a place to settle. I need to start writing again.

(Source: marisais, via reticent-romantic)

I think I’m finally starting to find the want to write again. I feel that I am finding inspiration once more. Ideas for stories are starting to stick in my head again. Now I just have to get over the fear that whatever I write will fucking suck.

My mom and I just came up with a pretty good movie plot. 

Maybe I’ll start a new script.

(Source: allmike-everything, via reticent-romantic)

just landed herself a paid writing gig. 

This freelance writing/editing might actually work out for me.

(via inkandstring)

(via theprettyfaceless)

(Source: i--amok, via sunrina-deactivated20120629)

(via trial-child)

• 7 days of successfully meeting word count. 
• 23 days of, “Fuck, I really need to work on my novel.” 
• 4 Thursday nights thinking, “I’ll spend all weekend getting caught up. Problem solved.”