I’ve been avoiding going back to making my blog a mostly original post blog, from a blog with a ton of reblogs. For months I have been seeing, yet again, those symptoms that show up when I silence myself. Anxiety, nightmares, flashback, dissociation, depression, crying, mood swings. You know the drill.
I love seeing what’s on my dash and reblogging, but I need to balance things out a bit more like I did in the past. Going back to the roots of this blog, I guess. This blog was about connecting with others and healing through thoughts, writings and communication with people.
Communication is such a huge part of my happiness, I’ve learned (and am still learning) and I need to give it the respect and care it needs. Nothing gets better when you hold it in… at least I don’t think I’ve experienced a positive effect from it.
When I feel as though words are trapped in my throat, I need to write. Sometimes it literally hurts to talk, but I have to remember not to just shut down—there are so many other ways to express the layered emotions. I used to write, make collages, finger paint, color, doodle, Tumbl, and all that other fun stuff.
I just have to remember to get out the negative to make room for all of the positive.